And still…the curve balls come, and you will trip and you will get yourself back up again.

For the last year and a half, my life has hit a downward spiral and still I have not come out of it, despite what it may seem on the outside. . . Yes, a fire element is good at wearing masks.    Little did I know that all those early times of broken relationships, friends and family members who have died, and other medical traumas in my life weren’t going to touch this time of mass confusion!   In perspective, perhaps it was preparing me for these times I am in now.

What I thought was going to be a joyous time as I began preparing for fertility treatments, with almost more than eight months of tests to get ready; instead, the treatments that I thought would bring so much joy, brought me near to death with blood clots throughout my body.  Despite the fact that this has been a 10-year journey to get pregnant and await the joy I feel when I think of holding my own baby in my arms, my sister surprisingly to us all, easily got pregnant at 40 this year. I have just turned 44 and still the years tick away. I can’t tell you how much I love my nephew, Tiernan, but it has made my journey so much more difficult in what seems unfair to my own life’s path. My mother says it is of “Mythical Proportions”. I am also still in it with medical trauma for several more months from the adverse side-affects of drugs, that I had to be on to save my life, and never-ending hospital visits.

How do I manage to keep going on?

How do I find joy?

I realize that a fire element needs joy in their life, or then they turn into dust and the once “life of the party” person makes everyone sad to be around. Fires live for joy! They are the ones who bring others out of their sadness. To see a Fire sad is the worst and it makes everyone around them sad too.

I have not mastered joy yet, but take some ideas from a fire element about surviving and finding joy amidst chaos and despair.

Despite the realities of my outer life and the utter confusion at what was happening to me, I learned how to find joy in little ways.                                     

Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “The lowest ebb is the turn in the tide.”

***I began to count my blessings every day. This is hard to do, when you can’t even get happy when the sun is shining, but counting blessings and giving gratitude turns on those Radiant Circuits!  Gratitude shifts your awareness from what’s going wrong in your life to what’s going right! In this way, you begin to attract more “Right” in your life.

*** Pray and ask for help. Saying it out loud, I have found works even better than being silent.  Don’t be pitiful though, when you ask. Tell your angels or your guides or your God that you have done all you can, and now you leave it in their hands and let it go! Surrender is the most important part in this equation. During the last ten years, I wasn’t able to let go of my wishes and desires of having a baby.  After every birthday candle or every star or spell, I’d hold it so close to me, afraid that if I let it go, I would lose that which I wanted most dear. I realized that I had to let it go, in order to make room for those little souls to have the space to move into my life. Surrender!

***I read inspirational stories, quotes and poems.(Rumi, Hafiz, Helen Keller, and Ralph Waldo Emerson)  Some of my favorite magazines are InnerResources and Science of Mind and sometimes, Oprah. Some of my favorite books during this time were If the Buddha got Stuck by Charlotte Kasl, Books and C.D’s by Iyanla Vanzant, Alchemy of the Heart by Elizabeth Claire Prophet, Naomi Judd’s Breakthrough Guide, The Tao of Willie Nelson, The Five things we cannot Change by Davie Richo, The Journey and Freedom Is by Brandon Bays, and any children books that make me smile!

***I bought myself flowers every week at the Farmers Market.   I felt this is my reward of living day to day and I gave this as a present to myself. The smell-good flowers would bring about an aromatherapy in my home and shift the energy, as well.

***I made myself compilation cds of different moods to listen to and sing at the top of my lungs in the car or to wildly dance to in my house, until I was spent.  My CDs ranged from Sadness to Happy songs to Angry and Funny…each of them labeled to fit the mood that I needed. Dancing and singing is an amazing healer…It helps to unblock the energy and the stuck places in the body, because as we all know, when we don’t move either in life or in metaphor, this is when disease sets in.  Dance and song help you to let go, if only for the moment.

*** Move your body anyway you can! Find something you love to do whether that is dance to swimming to roller skating to hiking to playing basketball with your buddies.  Our bodies are not meant to sit around and stay still. It will help your emotional well being to get out of stress and your immune system stay strong.

***Stretch!  Sttttrrreeetttccchhh!!! Yep in life…stretch yourself day by day in order to do the things that you once loved to do.  And stretch your body.  Stretching will help the lymph flow. When you help the lymph flow, you will begin to shift the blocked energy in your life. Remember, the lymph doesn’t have a pump, so we need to move it ourselves.

***Write down your feelings anyway you can. I have a hard time writing in a journal, because of a past experience, so I began writing articles in publications such as InnerResources, just to get my words down on paper.  I also use my friends as my journal and write long letters of what is going on in my life. Anything you can do to get your feelings down on paper and out of your body.

*** Find a good therapist! Yes, I had therapy. Find a therapist that you can relate too. My therapist mixes Energy Medicine with Native American and Hawaiian therapeutic healing practices. Awesome! You know that it’s time to take a break, when it’s not helping you anymore.  You will come to a stuck place and then it’s time to find a new one or re-evaluate and take a break from therapy.

***Tap! Tap! Tap! Energy Psychology helps many overcome fear, depression and can help one make huge shifts in their life in order to see the light. The Promise of Energy Psychology, by David Feinstein. ( www.Innersource.net)

***Get massages regularly. It relaxes tight muscles, relieves pain, normalizes heart rate and blood pressure, and decreases stress levels. We all know that touch is the one of the oldest form of healing.

***Take naps or meditate. When I began to take naps, my body would restore and I found I actually had more time in my day to do what I needed to do (weird). Meditation activates the left pre-frontal lobes of our brain which is where we experience joy, gratitude and positivity.

***Nourish your body. Eat better. Fresh fruit and vegetables, fill up on fiber (to keep your heart and metabolism running), fish and nuts (for Omega 3 rich foods to spark your mind). Remember to tap those Spleen points!  Not only are they good for metabolizing food, they are equally as good for metabolizing emotions. Every year, my mother and I take a trip to the Optimum Health Institute in San Diego. We do a major cleanse of body, mind and spirit, while learning some more information on life! I usually come back 10-13 pounds lighter in one week, as well! www.OptimumHealth.org

***Create Mood. Light candles, sage rooms and yourself, or light some incense. Creating mood with light and smell will shift a disorganized room into something you can actually conquer and deal with.

***Move things.  This is hard to do this while you are depressed, so you might want to hire a housecleaner or ask a friend to clean your house. Begin to throw out what you don’t need and in this way…your life will mimic the action. All of a sudden the “attic of your dusty thoughts” seem to get cleared out, as well.  There is a Buddhist tradition that if you move 27 things to other areas in your home, your life will begin to move and shift as well.

***Donate or give away! All those things you cleared away, give away to friends or needy people.  If it’s money you need, have a yard sale! When I was at some of my lowest lows…I would give money to charities or fill up my coin compartment in my car, so that anytime I’d see a homeless person, the money would be there, quick and easy. These times I gave, made me smile even if I only had a few dollars to give. They say - when you give, you receive that which you gave…ten-fold!

*** Clean your car! Or tell a friend to do it.  If your friend wants to help you, then ask them to take your car and go and get it professionally cleaned.  It will make you smile and help you shift energy.

***Create Art! Put your emotions into art of some kind.  This is difficult to get started…but just begin from the emotion that you are in, and things will move from there. This is even hard for me, even though I am an artist! Use your art as therapy. . . Create a Vision Board! Every year, Jeff and I create what we want for the year ahead on giant poster boards. We cut out pictures from magazines or paint words and symbols of what we want. We put it somewhere we can look at it every day and visualize ourselves already in that fantasized life.

*** Join a class that is something that you always wanted to do or something that you’d never thought you’d do.  It will get you out and being around people will help your depression. Take a Ballroom dance class, an Art class or Karate to get out some anger! Years ago, when Jeff and I were at a low in our relationship, we joined a class on how to be clowns.  I always hated clowns and I thought we needed to laugh…so it seemed like the perfect fit.  Jeff loves to show off our graduation class tape, so if you ever want to see it, ask him to show it to you.

***Shop Therapy! Yes, there is something to be said in buying yourself something.  It makes you feel good.  Tell yourself that you deserve it and do it! Don’t get carried away though.  Shop Therapy can turn into a bad habit which becomes credit card debt!

***Get away.  Take a small trip and retreat.  If you have a household of children and family that need you and just don’t have any time, then just a short drive or a walk in the woods will do wonders. Every day at dusk, I would take 20-30 min., to go and watch the sunset over my lake, by myself.  I would breathe and feel grateful at the beauty that nature had to offer me.          Nature for me is my greatest healer and Joy.

***Be with animals.  My Familiar and cat, Lucia has been there for me during my most crucial moments. They know what to do and they can take away your pain.  One of the reasons that cat’s like to find the sun spots in your house is that they take all that negative emotional energy from their owners and dispel it into the sunlight for them.  My mom and I have seen the energy coming off of Lucia when she does that.    Smart Cat!

*** Go see a movie! It will get you out of your own story and into someone else’s. Watching comedies are a great way to laugh and reduces stress. A few Years ago when my father passed away, my sister was so forlorn and lost, I knew a “feel good movie” was in order. It had only been 3 days and Dondi didn’t want to leave the house and go to a movie. Being the Fire I am and knowing she needed some joy; I forced her, despite her kicking and screaming. That movie, The Notebook turned out to be one of the best experiences of our life and Dad came to watch it (from the other side) with us as his cologne hit our noses during the best scenes.  Some of my other favorite “feel good movies” are…Heart and Souls, My Sister’s Keeper, Phenomenon, Starman, Powder, The Guru,The Other Sister, August Rush, Mama Mia, Whale Rider, Something’s Gotta Give, Dangerous Beauty,The Animal, Meet the Parents 1 and 2, Enchanted, and 40 year old Virgin.

*** Remember your Energy Exercises!  Get out of Homolateral!  If you are depressed, then you are for surely not crossing over and you won’t be able to shift your energy! Duh!!!!!!   

Remember my Mom says that you can lose up to 80% of your blood leaves your brain to think , when you are in stress or depressed. ..So of course, you forgot your E.M exercises.            

Some other great exercises for depression or anger or sadness are “Blowing out the Venom”, “Heaven rushing In”, “Connecting Heaven and Earth”, ”Cross Crawl”, “Tapping the ends of your meridians” (Energy Medicine by Donna Eden) “Wild Figure Eight dancing” “Energy Dance!”(Energy Dance! DVD by Titanya Dahlin), “Poi Ball Dancing” (Poi Balls and Poi Ball DVD by Titanya Dahlin)

***Smile and Breathe! Just the act of smiling turns on your endorphins- your pain receptors. Smiling is a natural drug and can trick your brain into feeling good.  When we are depressed, we forget to breathe or get into shallow breathing situations, which means you aren’t getting enough oxygen to your brain and this can also reduce your bloods supply to your blood. Put sticky tabs up all around your home that says, “Just Breathe”. When you see these, take 3-4 deep breaths.  It can make all the difference and could uplift your mood a bit more.                                                                      

For that matter, put up sticky notes that say, “This too will pass.”

***Accept help from family and friends.  As hard as this is for me…Water being my third element and really diving into it this last 1 ½ years, I realize they had love to offer me.  Waters can feel as if they want and need to go through the difficult stuff alone.  They usually don’t realize that they have many people around them who want to help them through it. Their contradiction is that they really want someone to throw them a life jacket, but they cannot see through the deep water to grab it.    Wipe your tears and Grab the jacket!

And lastly, I will leave you with an exercise my mom and I call,

“The Radiant Yes!”

Lie down and spread out your arms and legs, like a Star.

Breathe and Give in to the earth or your bed.

You can even feel as if you are being held in the hands of Spirit.

Now, make your whole body a,” YES”!

Be open and feel the cells saying YES!, Feel your muscles and bones say, YES!, Feel your skin Say YES!, Feel your heart and organs say YES!, Feel your spirit say YES!

Say YES to life! Say YES to love! Say YES to the lessons you are learning! Say YES to friends and family! Say YES to help! Say YES to the infinite possibilities to come, Say YES to the Universe’s better plan!

Say YES to YOU!

It’s an amazing exercise! It makes your whole body smile!

My mother says that when one is cut to the core and given so much to deal with, it’s the Universe knowing that you are strong enough to handle it, no matter what it may seem to you. It seems as if so many of us are all being challenged in so many ways right now…perhaps it’s what the ancients predicted and the culmination to the Mayan new Year 2012, where we need to get stronger in order to face the next wave of world energy ahead.

You may feel so pitiful and think there is no way you can go on…but somehow you will.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” ~ Anais Nin

Dr Earnest Holmes says, “Only as much life enters into us as we can conceive, and we conceive of life- in the larger sense-only when there is complete abandonment to it. Let the one who is sad, depressed, or unhappy find some altruistic purpose into which he may pour his whole being, and he will find a new inflow of life of which he has never dreamed of.”

Titanya Monique Dahlin is the daughter of Energy Medicine pioneer, Donna Eden and a  fourth generational intuitive healer. Over the last 15 years, she has toured with her bringing her own form of movement called, “Energy Dance”, that combines Energy Medicine with world movement and music.  This year, they are co-writing, Energy Medicine for Children and the new Rare Life color C.D. Titanya, A trained Waldorf teacher and Professional Middle Eastern dancer, she teaches annual workshops in The Chinese Five Elements and Bellydance at Omega Institute in N.Y. www.Eomega.org  Her new website is  becoming a resource for alternative “feel-good” products such as energy medicine charts, magnets, crystals, life colors, music and DVD’s. www.AwakenDivineEnergy.com